Yesterday, while I'm having breakfast with Wan Via and Alif...
Suddenly I just said something about a person from my past...
Then Wan Via ask me this...
Hmmm...How can I explain???
Long after I let go, feelings about the relationship held me back...
I was afraid of being vulnerable...
I was afraid of being hurt...
But mostly I was afraid of hurting someone else again and having to live with that...
HOPE, is the terrible thing that keeps me stuck in the past...
It’s not easy to end all contact when we feel attached to someone...
He also one of my friends before...
Breaking off the friendship might feel like ruining my chances at knowing love again...
But then I remember, a friend of mine had giving me some advises...
"You need to forgive yourself, let go, and open yourself up, that's it."
"When you’re holding onto something, you’re less open to giving and receiving anything else. So, just let it go!"
"You have to give to receive. Give love to get love, share joy to feel joy. It’s only possible if you’re open and receptive."
While Aqie, Atikah, and some others keep nagging on my "so-called-hope-and-waiting" attitude...
For them, there's nothing wrong if I keep that hope but actually without I realize, it's slowly change the old me to the "meroyan" person, sometimes...
Then again, after that breakfast I think that I really2 need to move on...
Waiting, hoping, and holding on is really painful...
I don’t regret the time when I was single, but I know now I could have hurt less and created even more possibilities for myself if I put more effort into completely letting go...
I hope I'll make a better way, by stop staring at the closed door and open myself to the other more widely opened gates...
*p/s: at least I have changed the contact name, what...huhuhu...
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