Faking A Smile

"One text message receive"...

Open it and read it...

"Jaga diri oke..Senyuman awak yg menyambut sy tadi tak semanis selalu..Tp takpe, sy faham ada sesuatu di sebalik semua..Jaga diri awak leklok..Tak semua orang suka kita, tp tu tak bermaksud takde orang bersama kita..Ada rezeki kita jumpa lagi..." 

Today I just got a visit from a friend of mine...

She's one of the coolest and the strongest person I ever met...

I thought it was just a simple visit with gossiping...

But I was wrong...

She's here because she want to reveal that all smiles that I put on is the fake one...

Me myself don't know since when I started to wear that fake smile...

Hmmm...

By the way, thanks for all the advice which I consider as "torturing-me-session"...

Huhuhu...

I know, I did wear a lot of masks to cover everything inside me...

But I have to, for the sake of them who still need me or maybe I'm just "perasan sendiri"...

And I know, I'm not the old Andi Rosnita who works with the T-Rex before...

Just like you, I'm missing her a lot too...

I don't know when she will come back, but sooner or later I'm sure it'll takes a lot of time...

But what I can assure you just now, Faking A Smile is my Profession...

To answer your question or what you said about wing-buddies...

The most hurting moment that I ever felt was when the situation of "for all the times, you always stand up to back up or become the shield for anyone else but nobody can stand up and speak up on behalf of you to protect you when comes the hard time for you"... 

It happened directly right in front of my face...

Life is all about give and take, that's what I always teach myself...

Maybe it's not the suitable time for me to "take"...

Therefore, I chose to just continue my steps by faking all the smiles and pretending like nothing hurt had ever happened...

I'm happy as long as everyone around me are happy...

I know it's hard, but I have no other choices...

Maybe my time for real happiness is still on its way, so I'm just waiting by swallowing all the sadness and pain without complaining, just faking...

Because I know, real life will never be as beautiful as fairy tale, will never be perfect as what we imagine... 

"You should step in my shoes and walk a mile. Then maybe you'll see how hard it is to hold back tears and fake a smile."

"The angriest and saddest people are hidden behind a mask. A mask of laughter and happiness. It's amazing what you can fake with a smile."

"And we put a fake smile to hide the pain, yet we wish someone would look closely enough and see how broken we really are inside."